The Unpremeditated Incineration
by CatGal15
Summary: A catastrophe has the group pulling together in times of need. Please R&R.
1. Chapter 1

Amy and Bernadette walked up the stairs in total silence; each with a troubled look on their faces.

Finally, upon reaching the second set of stairs, Bernadette spoke. "Sorry."

Amy considered briefly before looking at her. "Don't be. Morning sickness is a perfectly natural side effect of pregnancy." They stopped between 4A and 4B. "Do you have all you require?" Amy asked.

"Yeah, it's all here." Bernadette lay one hand atop her bag, the other cupping her slightly swollen abdomen.

"Good. You enjoy your evening."

"And you enjoy date night. See you at work."

While Bernadette knocked on Penny's door, Amy knocked on Sheldon's. "Coming," he called, echoing Penny's faintly audible call from 4B; except there seemed to be a blade of annoyance in his voice. Penny got to her door first, and with twin smiles at Amy, the pair disappeared into her apartment. Sheldon soon emerged, with a headset draped over his shoulders and a glazed look in his eyes. "Amy," he stated. "What brings you by?"

She raised her brows at him. "Did the great mind of Sheldon Lee Cooper forget our agreement that Thursday is date night?"

"Ugh, date night," he proclaimed, giving himself a little slap on the forehead. "How could the great mind of Sheldon Lee Cooper forget date night? Please," he added, "Come in."

She walked into the apartment, taking off her purse and setting it on the nearest chair before tottering up on her toes, expecting her greeting kiss. Instead, Sheldon brushed past her. "You came just in time," he said, in a calm happiness. "I've spent the past two hours adjusting the new surveillance cameras in my office, and now you're going to get the first nightly peek into the workplace of one of the greatest minds on all of the planets, including Pluto." He patted the seat next to his Spot.

"Two hours?" Amy commented, sitting next to him.

"Yes, well, there are several, one on each wall; and I wanted the angles to be just right." He looked at her with a charming smile on his face. "You ready?"

"Uh, sure," Amy said, looking at him as if he were crazy.

He draped an arm around her and she snuggled into him. Taking a quick, deep breath he pushed the button; and his screen suddenly lit up in various shades of blue, showing a clear quality image of his abandoned office. "There it is," Sheldon said proudly. "I can already feel all the neurons in my hippocampus kicking into action."

Amy looked up at him. "You're like a proud papa," she commented. "Maybe one day Bernadette's child will have the son of Sheldon Cooper as a good friend." She stared dreamily off into the live feed as Sheldon's smile faded. "There would be your beautiful eyes behind glasses like mine...He could use his towering intellect to outsmart bullies and rescue his deviant brother from the law." Her smile became toothy as she entertained the thought.

Sheldon's happy, ear-to-ear grin had turned into a scowl. "Boy, you can take anything and turn it into our future, can't you?" he asked, as he tore off the headset. Sensing the jerky movements of his muscles, Amy quickly sat up before he stood and made his way into the kitchen.

"I want a family with you, Sheldon."

"That ain't happening, missy," Sheldon said, as he opened the fridge.

"Why not?" Amy whined.

"Oh, dear Lord," was her response, "Missy." He looked at her in obvious regret. "I forgot she was at the airport!" And he ran out of the suite carrying the bag of bread.

Amy bit her lip before standing and making her way to the bowl beside the door, picking up his keys and extending them. Seconds later Sheldon reappeared, snatching his keys, thrusting the bread into her arms and kissing her quickly before running down the stairs. "I'll make it up to you," his voice floated up the stairs.

Amy leaned out to watch his shadow fade. "Oh, that's no problem, we can talk in the car," she said to herself. 


	2. Chapter 2

"Want a drink, Aims?" Penny asked.

"No, thank you. I want to be levelheaded when I confront Sheldon." Amy inspected her fork. "Though I do appreciate you cleaning the silverware."

Bernadette emerged from the bathroom.

"Feeling better?" Penny asked.

Without a response, Bernadette turned and hurried back into the bathroom, kicking the door shut soundly.

"I'll take that as a no," Penny murmured, and she drank the last of her wine.

"Resounding," Amy answered, and paused when she heard Sheldon's voice out in the hall, followed by Missy's pleasant, lilting twang. "Excuse me," Amy said, and she stood and walked to the door, flinging it open.

"Here we go," Penny sang, as she filled her cup.

"...Leonard will be spending the night at Penny's, so you can take his room," Sheldon was saying, as Amy approached. "But if you do decide to take the couch, my advice to you is to put your head furthest from the door."

"Yes," Missy nodded, "I'm familiar with you."

"Good evening, Missy," Amy said.

Missy turned, holding a car seat which held a sleeping baby. "Oh, good evening...Amy, right?"

"Yes."

Sheldon turned to Amy as Missy disappeared within the apartment. "I'm really sorry about tonight. How about we make the day after tomorrow an impromptu date night as reimbursement?"

Amy looked dissatisfied. "Why not tomorrow?"

"I'm busy."

Amy quelled her anger, albeit barely. "Fine. Goodnight, Sheldon."

"Goodnight, Amy," he replied, and looked a bit taken aback when she turned and descended the stairwell without first giving him a kiss goodbye. Wondering what exactly he had done wrong, he quirked a brow at Penny, who only shook her head. He turned and let himself into the apartment. "So," he said, approaching the car seat, "I expect my hospitality is the only service you will require of me." He gestured stiffly to his nephew.

"Don't worry, Sheldon, I can take care of him by myself." Missy sank into Leonard's easy chair. "Would you like to hold him?"

"Me? No, no. Like my work, I will only observe, take notes, and try to improve him." Sheldon sat in his Spot, looking forlornly at the surveillance camera views of his office. Knowing he had truly messed up with Amy, he began putting away his equipment. "How do you feel?"

Missy raised her brows inquisitively.

"I don't really care," Sheldon explained, "But I need to know if you require a hot beverage or if you could settle for milk."

"I'll have water, and I don't need you waitin' on me. Relax! Tell me about your life. What have you been up to?"

"Well, Amy and I broke up," he answered, "Then we got back together, we kissed, and we slept together."

"What?" Missy exclaimed. With a quick look at her baby she lowered her voice. "Sheldon, you did use...protection, right?"

"Protection?" He gave her a quizzical glance. "Be realistic. As cool as the Lord Of The Rings ring makes me look, it won't actually do anything...It's a prop."

Missy covered her eyes with both hands. "No, Sheldon, I mean condoms."

"Oh, you mean sexual protection," he realized. "Well...no." He looked back at her and didn't like the look on her face. In that moment, he recalled Amy's expression when she had been speaking about having a family with Sheldon. Maybe she wasn't trying to convince him to start a family, he thought, so much as trying to tell him he was going to have one. He stood slowly and gracefully. "Excuse me," he said politely, and walked out the door with a certain poise. Pulling the door shut he broke into a panic. "Oh Lord," he gasped, and began to run down the stairs. "Amy! Amy! Amy! Amy! Amy! Amy! Amy!"

He continued this banter until he caught up to Amy at the front doors. "What?" Amy asked plainly, turning around.

"Are you pregnant?" Sheldon demanded.

Amy closed her eyes, and Sheldon anxiously awaited her response.

"No, Sheldon, I'm not."

"You checked, right?"

Amy opened her eyes to stare dumbfoundedly at him. "No, I'm assuming, because there's no way I can check."

"Okay, that was sarcasm," Sheldon said triumphantly. He studied her tired, exasperated face. "Are you sad?"

"No," Amy repeated.

He looked surprised. "I thought you wanted a family."

"I do. But I...I'm glad I know you don't before I made another mistake." She turned and pushed the door open.

"That sounded sincere!" Sheldon called after her. "You're mad!"

The glass door closed between them, and all by himself Sheldon stared after her. Then he blinked, trying to shake her words from his mind. "How come I'm sad?" he asked, as he turned and drifted up the stairs, shaking his head as he tried to figure himself out. 


	3. Chapter 3

"This has been the most romantic night of my life," Leonard said sarcastically, and Penny sighed in equal unhappiness. Bernadette was spread out at the foot of the bed, softly snoring. "We should do this more often," he added, as he got up and crossed the room.

"Yep," Penny groaned, as she sat up, "I'm calling Howard."

"Good idea." And Leonard opened the curtains, making Bernadette shield her eyes and moan her protest. Then she came fully awake, blinking at Penny in confusion.

"I spent the night?"

"Yeah," Penny sat next to her. "But you didn't drink."

"Good...I should get going." Bernadette stood. "Sorry about ruining your night."

"Don't worry about it; you're our friend."

Bernadette gave a tired but sweet smile before backing out of the room and closing the door.

"She doesn't have to worry about it," Leonard emphasized.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I bought you something, for our anniversary!"

"It's not our anniversary."

"No, the anniversary of our first date." Leonard sat beside her. "I was going to give it to you last night, and now it's over; dropping the sentimental value of the gift to nothing. It might as well be a box of baking soda."

"Don't be silly; I'd like to exchange."

She went to the foot of the bed while he went to the closet; and both of them emerged with a box. Hers was long and narrow, while he held a tiny velvet box in his hands. They opened them at the same time. "Oh, they're beautiful!" Penny exclaimed, lifting up the earrings. "I'm putting them in right now." She looked at his face and couldn't keep from frowning. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know what this is."

Penny smiled. "It's a two-person telescope!"

"Cool! I didn't even know they made these; where did you get it?"

"I asked a certain engineer to build the best gift a certain astrophysicist could think of."

"That is so sweet."

"Well, I...wanted to spend the night of our anniversary looking up at the stars."

"That would have been romantic."

"Yeah..."

"But, look at it this way," Leonard said quickly. "We can assemble it and look up at the stars every night."

She smiled and they kissed. Their romantic interlude was interrupted by Sheldon's infamous knock on her bedroom door. They both sighed before Penny answered the door. "What?"

"I've hit a reef," Sheldon said shortly.

"Okay," Penny looked frustrated, "So just turn the boat around, I'm sure there's a button for that."

Sheldon looked imploringly at Leonard.

"What's the problem?" Leonard asked expectantly.

"Amy said she wanted a family with me, and I said no. She left the apartment in a huff and now she's ignoring me. What do I do?"

Leonard's cell rang. "Do the opposite of what Sheldon would normally do," he suggested hastily, and answered his phone.

Penny gently guided Sheldon from the room. "Come on, sweetie, let's talk." They went to her living room and sat. "What does your gut tell you to do?"

He looked highly offended. "Gut! I'm a scientist, Penny, a man of the mind."

"Okay, so what does your mind tell you?"

"My mind tells me I was honest, which is the right thing; therefore I've done nothing wrong."

"Okay, sweetie - "

"Oh my God, is everyone alright?" Leonard's outburst interrupted her, and she and Sheldon both turned on the couch to face the bedroom. "Okay! Okay, yes, we're coming." Leonard emerged from the bedroom while throwing on his jacket.

"What's wrong?" Sheldon asked.

"There's a fire at Raj's. The whole house!" Leonard said, as he led Penny and Sheldon from the apartment. 


	4. Chapter 4

Having heard the commotion, Missy opened the suite door to see the trio heading for the stairs. "Sheldon? What's goin' on?" Missy asked.

"Do you remember Raj?" Penny asked her.

"The one who couldn't speak to me unless he was hopped up on pills?"

"Yes, him..."

"His whole apartment is on fire," Sheldon cut in, giving Penny a sudden push toward the stairs.

"Oh, my," Missy breathed. "Give him my best."

"You're not coming?" Sheldon asked.

"I'm in the middle of a diaper change. But if you bring him here, I'll make the hot beverage myself," Missy promised, drawing a quick X over her heart.

"Thanks. And remember to spray Febreze and wash!" Sheldon called, as he hurried after Leonard and Penny.

-0-0-0-0-

If Leonard hadn't known his way to Raj's place, the curling smoke would have been the only beacon he would have required to find his way. The opposite side of the street was crowded with the residents of the burning apartment. Howard stood close to Raj, who clutched Cinnamon; and Amy was there, one hand on Raj's shoulder. Standing in silence together, the residents stared up at the inferno. All Leonard could hear as he passed through the crowd was the audacious crackle of the flames, and a woman's sobbing.

Howard gestured subtly to their friends, and Raj turned to quickly hug Penny and Leonard, and accept the offer of a handshake from Sheldon. "Are you okay?" Penny asked.

"A-a little shaken up," Raj confessed.

"You can come stay with me," Amy offered.

"Thanks," Raj didn't look particularly mollified.

"Scared?" Sheldon guessed, as faint sirens began in the distance.

"Worried," Raj answered. "I know I've got a place with any of you, but...what about all these other people?"

The friends were silent.

Finally, Sheldon turned to Raj. "The church," was all he said.

Raj's eyes went wide. "Yes, yes, of course. Brilliant."

"I can call my mom," Sheldon continued. "She'll help them, she can work something out with the priest."

His friends patted his back and arm as he made his way to the car to make the call in peace. "Great, we've established what Sheldon's mom in Texas will do," Raj said brokenly, "What about me? I can't stay with you forever," he told Amy.

"You can stay as long as you need, Rajesh."

"Howard?" Penny said, silencing the friends. "I think your wife might want you home."

"Oh, yeah," Howard said grimly, one hand instinctively going to his phone pocket. "Will you be okay?" he asked Raj.

"I-I-I guess."

" 'Kay. Thanks, Amy. See you all later." Howard left.

Amy watched him get on his motorbike and leave, but then her eyes were drawn to Sheldon, who sat in the car, speaking on the phone. The sirens were getting closer, and the cluster of people moved off the road and onto the sidewalk across the street from the fire.

"How did it start? Do you know?" Leonard was asking.

He knew the answer to his question when Raj wouldn't answer him. To avoid putting Raj in the spotlight, in front of about two dozen people; Leonard said nothing more. He turned his gaze to the car, expecting to see Sheldon. Instead, he saw the car was empty, and he saw the lone figure of a tall man walking away, becoming harder and harder to see past the fire's glow. 


	5. Chapter 5

Howard and Bernadette arrived at the Wolowitz house at the same time, and met each other on the sidewalk. "How are you feeling?" Howard asked, as they began to walk to the house.

"I'm okay."

"Did you listen to the voice mail I left?"

"Oh...No, sorry." She dug out her iPhone, entered her password to unlock the phone, and then her password to open her voice mail. Putting it to her ear, her bright and sweet smile faded when she heard Howard's haunting voice mail.

His voice had been full of panic. " 'Bernadette? Bernadette, it's me - " A loud crackle resonated. " 'Oh, damn, look at it go! Raj! Raj, where are you?' "

Then there was only static, interspersed with a shrill whistling noise. Then Howard's voice, barely audible, came through the static, shouting for Raj one last time before the sound of static was cut off by the dial tone.

Looking scared, Bernadette looked at Howard.

"There was a fire," he explained. "Raj is staying with Amy."

"And the others?"

"Sheldon thinks they could stay at the church for awhile." He put his arm around her.

"Oh, God, this is terrible," Bernadette murmured. "What about Claire and Emily? Do they know?"

Howard paused. "They...weren't there," he answered.

Bernadette dug into her purse for the keys. "Does anyone know how it happened?"

"Uh, yeah," Howard answered quietly, as he followed her inside. "Me."

"What?"

He pushed the door shut. "We met at the movies, and he invited me over to see the prototype for the telescope. When we got back, we saw this huge pile of sugar on the floor, and Cinnamon was hyper as hell."

"And?" Bernadette said expectantly.

"And Raj began to vacuume the mess, and asked me to water the plants, and the corner was cramped...We bumped into each other. He sank into a chair, and his haunted eyes reluctantly met hers. "It spread so fast."

"I'm sure he doesn't blame you. Accidents happen," Bernadette said, as she sat beside him. "What do you want to do?"

Howard rubbed his temple. "I want to wake up." He glanced up at her. "What about you?"

"I want to call him."

He nodded and she quietly excused herself. Howard turned on the television and surfed through all the news channels until he found one featuring a fire, but it turned out to be a forest fire in Kentucky. He shut off the television with a sigh and, upon deciding he needed to busy his hands, he started up the stairwell. He didn't get very far until his cell rang, and he paused to answer it. "Hello? ...Josh. Hi, what's up? ...You are? Well, come by, we can make room! ...Oh. Okay, not that much room. ...What? You're kidding, really?" His expression went flat. "Uh, no. No, I'll visit you anytime, but not Dad. ...Yeah, go ahead; I don't care if he knows. Okay. 'Bye." He hung up, looking down at his phone, wondering if he had made the right decision.

Then, finally thawing, he pocketed his phone and ascended the dark stairs.

-0-0-0-0-

Author's Note: Sorry about the detour, Shamy fans. Things will be back on course with the next chapter. 


	6. Chapter 6

Amy struggled for breath, knowing she was going to die. The fire raged all around her, an impenetrable wall of flame. The smoke clogged her mouth, and she blinked back bright spots, squinting as she tried to see a way out.

But there was none; and as the heat rushed into her lungs, she fell to her knees.

Suddenly a pair of hands came over her mouth, strapping an oxygen mask over her face; and a firefighter was pulling her to her feet. Silently, he pulled her arm over his shoulders and guided her quickly through the ring of fire.

Across the street, joining Raj once again, Amy collapsed in the arms of her rescuer. "Thank you," she gasped.

"You're welcome," the familiar voice had her pulling away and turning to see Sheldon. He looked so handsome and brave, standing there in the firelight wearing a hero's costume.

"What...Sheldon, how did you get that suit?"

He tucked the helmet under his arm. "It's part of my First Aid."

"And you risked yourself for me?"

He smiled serenely, even as the flames began to devour him. "Of course. I love you," he said, before he was nothing more than fire.

Amy jerked awake in bed, and she sat, wiping a shaking hand over her moist forehead. Freeing herself of the covers, she slid her feet into her bunny slippers, stood, and made her way to the window. Pulling back the drapes, she looked at the dark night sky and realized she couldn't wait until morning to speak to him. She unplugged her iPhone, and dialed his number without much need to look at the number pad. Holding it to her ear she waited anxiously for a response.

It came after several rings. "Amy?" he asked sleepily. "Are you alright?"

"Do you still love me?"

In his own apartment, Sheldon pulled himself to a sitting position. The desperation in her voice had him quickly waking up. "How could you for one moment think otherwise?"

"You don't want a family with me, Sheldon. Here on Earth, that means you don't want to be with me."

"But I do want to be with you. I just want to use protection next time."

Her heart warmed instantly. "Next time?"

"Yes. If you'd like. Amy, I don't need to have children with you, because my life is already complete if you're with me."

"What about what I need?"

Sheldon paused. This wasn't supposed to be happening; she was supposed to be melting at his words. "Well...What do you need?"

"What I need is a mature relationship. Sheldon, I want to marry you; I want to have kids with you, and complete the circle. I can be the stay-at-home mother and we can live on Mars; I don't care, as long as my life is with you."

Sheldon only briefly considered the implications that could come with rejecting her yet again. Deciding he couldn't handle losing her for good, he earnestly said, "I'll think about it."

"Thank you, Sheldon. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," he said into the dial tone. He hung up and had only been silently sitting for a few seconds when there was a soft knock on his door. He got up and pulled it open to see Leonard standing in the hall.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Yes."

Leonard nodded, turned and began to walk away, but Sheldon's voice halted him. "What about you?"

Leonard turned to look at him. "Honestly? I'm a little scared," Leonard confessed. "Worried, about Raj."

Sheldon nodded and the pair were quiet for a few seconds, until Leonard said, "Penny's here, trying out the telescope. Want to join us?"

Sheldon nodded again and followed Leonard to the door. "Leonard?" he asked.

"Yeah, buddy."

"How much will it cost to buy three dozen roses and have them delivered?"

Leonard's brows went up. "Are you seriously going to send Amy flowers?"

"Yes."

"And you're coming to me for advice on such a momentous decision?"

"Well," Sheldon answered, as Leonard opened the patio door, "You've made so many women unhappy, I figured you'd have the most knowledge on the subject." 


	7. Chapter 7

Raj was grabbing the cereal box from the cupboard when there was a knock at Amy's door. He set the box on the counter and went to open it; and at the sight of a male within the home of the addressee, the delivery man looked a bit confused. "Um, I have a delivery for...Wait, are you single?"

Raj looked surprised. "Whoa, dude. I'm not, okay? I'm dating two beautiful women."

"Is one of them Amy?"

"No. No, she's just my friend. I'm staying here because my building burned down."

"Oh. Then please make sure she gets these." The mailman took out the three bouquets. "Thirty-six roses for miss Amy Farrah-Fowler, from Sheldon Cooper."

"Wow! They're so beautiful," Raj crooned, fingering the petals. "It's amazing to think such a soft, delicate texture could come from a seed." He paused. "This actually reminds me a lot of the fabric of my mummy's dress."

The mailman looked highly amused. "And you're dating two women?"

"Yes."

"Tell me something, Amy's friend. Enlighten me."

"Sure."

"How crazy must these women be, to want the seed of a soft and delicate flower like you?"

Raj's smile dropped from his face. "Are you done delivering?"

"No, I've got one more."

"Is it to Amy?"

The mailman turned and walked away, and Raj shut the door. Smelling the flowers, he abandoned the cereal to put the roses into water, and set the vases in a beautiful display on the kitchen table. Deciding cereal would spoil the general effect, he put the box away and rummaged through the contents of Amy's fridge. By the time Amy emerged from her bedroom, Raj was setting the table with plates of toast and strawberries, and tall glasses of cold water.

"What's all this?" Amy asked.

"Oh, just my thanks to you."

Amy looked at the roses. "Wow, how many are there?"

"Thirty-six."

"That must've cost a fortune!"

"Well...I'm rich. And you are worth it."

Amy smiled and pulled out the card, and Raj froze when she read it aloud, in a sudden serious voice. " 'Dear Amy, sorry about last night. I hope these flowers will help make up for how it ended. As always, I, see the other side of this card.' " Amy turned the card over. " 'As always, I look forward to seeing you. This time I'll remember date night, I promise. Please see the card in the bouquet with the clear wrapping.' " She set the card on the table, giving the blushing Raj a dirty look. " 'All my love, Sheldon Lee Cooper, BS, MS, MA, Ph.D and ScD; the luckiest man alive to date the luckiest woman alive; a match made in scientist heaven.' "

Raj gritted his teeth as he poured the rest of the water into his glass.

"I take you in and you try to play me for a fool?" Amy gathered up the cards, but suddenly smiled. "So he's where you get it from."

"C-can you forgive me?"

"Yeah. This time I'll let it slide." Amy sat across from him, stabbing a strawberry with her fork. "Say, can you do me a favor?"

"Of course."

"Sheldon and I are going out tonight, as an 'impromptu date', and I don't know what to wear."

Raj's eyes lit up. "Oh, goodie, you can give me a fashion show!"

They both paused, thinking about his words, and his face crumpled. "Oh, no, I am a soft and delicate flower!"

"That's okay," Amy sighed. "Everyone knows."

-0-0-0-0-

Author's Note: Sorry to reviewer michiamoverano; I guess this is a Raj/Amy chapter, but Raj IS another starring character in this story. Just the same, thank you. 


	8. Chapter 8

Sheldon was sitting at a restaurant table when he felt a presence before him. Taking his eyes from the screen he felt his heart skip a beat at the sight of his girlfriend, his Amy, standing there in a new dress. It was a simple thing; a purple dress with a sweetheart neckline, tee sleeves and a medium skirt. Off her neck hung a single pearl pendant. She did not wear her hair straight, with clips; instead it flowed over her shoulders in soft waves.

"Hello, Sheldon." She sounded drained.

"Hello," he answered, and motioned to the chair across from him. "Join me. Please."

She sat, fingering her pendant. "Thank you, for the flowers," she said formally.

"You're welcome," he replied.

Then there was silence. Finally he spoke. "You look...real nice," Sheldon said into the stillness at their table. "It makes me wish I'd put on my suit."

"No, it's fine," Amy told him. "I was going to put my cardigan back on, but I'd run out of time."

"So you're nervous, too," Sheldon stated.

"A bit," she confided, "I feel bad about saying our first time was a mistake. I'm truly sorry."

"Thanks," he said, and turned off his phone, moving to put it away.

"Sheldon? Don't you have something to say to me?"

He furrowed his brows. "Like what?"

"How about for caring so little about our date that you forgot I was even coming? Or for abandoning me at your place, without even offering if I'd like to come to the airport with you?"

"Excuse me, but I did everything right! I apologized, I set up another date to compensate, and I showed up. What more do you want from me?"

"Your complete attention. I want a date where we don't check our phones, or touch the computer."

Sheldon nodded, leaning forward, his fingers interlocked. "I see. And do you also want respect?"

"I do!"

"Then I'd like to request the same. Whenever you insist we have children, you're disregarding my feelings completely." Their gazes held fast. "Amy, I promise you one thing; if ever I do want children, it will be with you. But I find your own lack of respect, as well as your inability to see it, very disenchanting."

Amy's eyes were softer than her tone of voice. "Then what do you suggest?"

"Relationship counseling," came the quick answer.

Her brows went up. "Really?"

"Yes. I don't want to lose you, Amy Farrah-Fowler."

She smiled sadly. "I don't want to lose you either, Sheldon Lee Cooper." 


	9. Chapter 9

PLEASE NOTE: This story contains an opinion on therapy that one reader has found offensive. I apologize. Please note it was not my intent.

-0-0-0-0-

"Ohh, so now you bother to get dressed up," was how Amy icily greeted Sheldon. He looked up at her in mild surprise.

"This is an important date," he answered offhandedly.

Her brows went up. "And ours wasn't?"

Sheldon rolled his eyes at the therapist. "I'm not saying you're not special; just that it was no occasion."

The silence that followed was near terminal.

"Hello, Amy. Please, have a seat. I'm Dr. Linda Freeman," the psychiatrist continued, as Amy sat next to Sheldon. "I've just been having an interesting little talk with your boyfriend; he tells me you're a neuro-something-or-other."

"Neurobiologist."

"Be that as it may, I don't have any whiteout." Dr. Freeman skimmed through her notes, not looking very stimulated. "And, Sheldon, you're an experimental physicist, yes?"

"Correct."

"You bragged to me about having a beautiful mind...blah, blah, blah." She closed her notebook with such force that Sheldon jumped in response. "Okay. So what I understand from this is, two superintelligent people, very deeply in love, don't know what respect is." She changed her position. "Let me break it down for you...You don't have real problems. You're too qualified for your work, and yet, too underqualified for a relationship. You both deserve more than what you're getting; but out of love, and nothing else, you remain together and unhappy, hoping the other will change."

Amy jumped in. "If I couldn't accept Sheldon, for who he is; then I wouldn't be ready for marriage."

"And I qualify for everything," Sheldon added. "I have certificates and a meemaw who will say so."

Dr. Freeman ignored Sheldon, keeping her attention on Amy. "The sad thing is, Amy, that I have yet to see acceptance from either one of you. We've only been here almost a minute, and you've already had an argument." Her eyes flicked back and forth between her pair of attendees. "Tell you what we're going to do. You're going to take turns describing to me what you would have your significant other do differently. Amy, you may begin first."

Amy couldn't help but feel a little smug as the unsatisfied Sheldon was all at once forced into silence. "Well, Doctor, I feel obligated to point out that like you, I'm a doctor of the mind; yet for the life of me, I can't understand his off-putting tendency to ignore me, insult me, and in general make me feel about the size of a Golgi cell."

Dr. Freeman looked flustered. "Sure, sure. Damn the Golgi. Continue."

Amy nodded. "Every time I tell him what's important to me, he acts like it's no big deal. My achievements, my life goals, my death wish. But the only Cooper who ever listens to me is his mother!"

"Excuse me," Sheldon tried to interrupt.

"No, no, I will not," Dr. Freeman jumped in. "Sheldon, you'll get your chance. Go on," she gestured to Amy.

"He claims he loves me, but he's only willing to sleep with me once a year. He's got all these ridiculous rules and contracts, dictating what we can and cannot do in a relationship; and if he breaks them, I'm not supposed to care, but if I break them, I never hear the end of it. He doesn't praise me for my scientific breakthroughs, and yet he expects me to carve his trophies myself when he does even something minor. I'm supposed to be his chaffeur, his escort, his emergency contact, his cheerleader, his videographer, his maid, and the girlfriend who comes running at his beck and call too; but if I need him, I need to give him a warning two weeks in advance."

Amy paused and then sighed, looking everywhere but into his sharp eyes.

"Is there more?" asked the therapist, expectantly.

"Nah, that's the worst of it."

"I would hope so," Dr. Freeman murmured. "So, Sheldon, do you have any comments?"

"I do!" He turned to Amy, "That is the biggest pile of manure I've ever heard. I drew up those contracts not as punishment, but because just like you, I'm entitled to my rights. I don't need your permission to say what I am and am not comfortable with, and I most certainly don't need to refrain from tearing said contracts in half if you think I do."

"I never said you do." Amy tried not to look at the therapist, even though she was wondering what Dr. Freeman thought of her. "I just want you to love me more than once a year."

"I love you every day OF the year!" Sheldon exclaimed.

Amy almost looked embarrassed. "Why can't you say more things like that to me?"

"It should be implied!"

Dr. Freeman cut in. "Okay, people, let's slow down. You're paying me by the hour, let's try to make it last. Sheldon, what would you change about Amy? What do you respect about her the least?"

Sheldon considered - until he saw the look on his girlfriend's face. She truly looked like she wanted to kill Dr. Freeman.

"How about I tell you what I respect about her the most?" Sheldon suggested, and didn't wait for the therapist to respond. "I respect most about Amy...the fact that she didn't choose the mundane office job of making people feel horrible about themselves, in a world where it's not only legal, but enforced, to be a bully and get paid for it, in a shallow and embittered world where the only thing that matters is money."

Amy smiled through her tears as the therapist sat in stunned silence.

"What would I change about Amy? Nothing, because I know that as long as she's not a therapist, she still has hope for us, and the rest of the human race in kind." He shifted his position, turning his attention to Amy. "This was a bad idea; I'm sorry. I think we can work this out ourselves...We've gotten through half a decade as it is."

"I agree," Amy said gratefully.

They stood and began to walk to the door.

"Hey! Where's my cheque?"

Amy turned and shared a knowing glance with Sheldon. "I rest my case," he said. "Dr. Freeman, your profession is a cruel joke, and nothing more. My girlfriend and I will not be coming back here." He handed her a cheque containing a meagre amount. "We have no real problems," he informed her politely.

"I beg to differ..."

"I know you would," Sheldon sighed. "We might quibble now and then, but we do it because we're in love. But you, Dr. Freeman, do it because you're a prostitute of the mind."

Circling Amy's waist with his arm, he escorted her from the room.

-0-0-0-0-

Author's Note: A book about a fire making several dozen people homeless, and the therapy session is where it gets dark. Unfreakingbelievable. Please note, I do not hate Jane Lynch; and for those of you who missed my clever reference, Dr. Freeman is the same therapist Charlie and Alan see. If physical doctors can transfer, I figure, why couldn't a therapist? Anyway, as he should have a major role in this story, I've got more Raj, coming up; and no, I'm not bringing Shamy to a close. If I must remind you, I love them, too. 


	10. Chapter 10

Raj was stretched out across Amy's couch, rubbing at his eyes when the front door opened, and a laughing Amy escorted a smiling Sheldon into the apartment. Their mirth was curbed when they caught sight of Raj.

"Did we wake you?" Amy asked.

"No." Raj sat. "I, uh, I made biscuits. I don't know how much you like cheddar, but it's baked right in with some veggies. I also made a dip; it's kind of spicy."

"Thank you," Amy said quietly, as he sauntered away looking completely disheartened. She turned awkwardly to Sheldon. "Want some?"

"Yes, some. But I should really be getting back to Missy." Sheldon grimaced.

"I hear she and Penny are going bowling tonight," Amy answered. Then, looking for the cheesy biscuits, she paused. "Maybe we should ask Raj if he'd like to go bowling."

"Maybe," Sheldon parroted, as Amy discovered her treasure. She opened the oven and slipped into the mitts, removing the tray and setting it atop the counter beside the dip, which Raj had tightly Saran-wrapped.

"Help yourself," Amy offered, and disappeared after Raj. Sheldon had moved to the counter and was using a flipping spatula to lift out the biscuits when Amy promptly returned. She didn't look too happy. "Uh, no. Definitely doesn't want to go anywhere," she updated, and began filling her own plate.

"Was he rude about it?" Sheldon spooned some of the dip onto his plate.

"No." Amy smiled, also collecting some of the sauce. "Why? Would you march over there and give him a piece of your mind?"

"I would."

Amy sat next to him. "Sheldon, I really appreciate what you did for me tonight. I know we could probably benefit from sitting down and having a real heart-to-heart."

Sheldon considered, only briefly. "We're sitting down now."

Amy swathed her biscuit in dip. "I mean at a better time. I feel kind of, I don't know, responsible for Raj right now; and you've got Missy..."

"Actually, Missy is very concerned about you and me. I guess she knows I'll never be able to replace you." He considered, ignorant to how his words had made her blush. "Well, Missy's intent was to stay for a full week," he thought aloud. "My twin or not, I can't be around her for that long and not go crazy."

"You mean, crazier," Amy emphasized.

"I'm not crazy; my mother had me tested." The response was automatic, and he kept thinking as Amy began to eat. "Well, I suppose we could have our second sleepover," he proposed, making her look up instantly.

Amy smiled. "Wow, two boys spending the night at my place."

Sheldon looked ready to squirm. "Don't get any ideas," he scorned. "I'm not sharing you. In any event, we'll be spending most of the time discussing our foothold."

Amy shrugged. "Okay, well, I only have the one bed. We can do this one out of three ways; I can share it with Raj, you can share it with Raj, or I can share it with you."

Sheldon shrugged. "We can share."

Amy paused. "To clarify, you and me, or you and him?"

"Me and you!"

Amy's brows went up. "You wouldn't mind?"

"We've shared a bed before."

That comment had both of them blushing.

"Alright then." Amy shakily set her plate down on the coffee table. "Just let me...let me go change the sheets, then." She stood and made her way to the hall, praying she wouldn't faint. Pausing in the hallway, she turned to look at Sheldon. Even her lips shook as she returned the smile before ducking into the hall. 


	11. Chapter 11

Amy had just picked up the pillow when Sheldon's voice penetrated through her fog of nerves. "Want help with that?"

"Sure."

Sheldon put the binder he carried on top of her dresser, then moved to the bed and helped her strip the sheets. Together, they worked in companiable silence, unmaking and remaking the bed. The quiet struck Amy as uncomfortable, and she was rather thankful when Raj knocked on the door, poking his head in. "I'm going out for a bit."

"This late?" Sheldon asked.

"It's only nine o'clock," Raj answered.

"My point. Where could you possibly go at this hour?"

"I'm going to buy some food and bring it to the church," came the simple answer.

"That's very nice, Rajesh," Amy told him.

He waved and ducked from the room; and with the bed made Amy moved stiffly to the dresser and picked up the binder. "What's this?"

"That is the log of interactions I've had with you since the day we met."

She looked at him in genuine shock. "You did that?"

He nodded. "I don't understand your surprise," he told her. "I keep a log of everything."

"Everything?" Amy pondered.

"Yes," he confirmed, "I even have a log of the logs I keep."

Amy smiled, cracking open the book as she made her way back to him. Reading through the recorded activities that had happened on which dates, she couldn't help but feel like she was reading another girl's diary.

"What do you think?" Sheldon asked.

Amy shook her head. "I think you're crazy!"

Sheldon looked at her, appearing offended, but completely took her off-guard when he gently hit her in the face with one of the pillows. Amy grabbed the other pillow and hit him back, pushing the book far onto the bed and laughing as they engaged in a pillow fight.

They didn't stop until the pillow Amy held suddenly exploded, and feathers rained onto her carpet.

And that was how, after brushing her hair and removing her glasses, Amy found herself laying her head on the same pillow on which Sheldon's head lay. In such limited proximity, Amy found she had to roll onto her side so she wasn't placed halfway on top of him.

She didn't know what Sheldon would have thought of it, but she wouldn't have minded.

Actually, she wanted to cuddle until she fell asleep, but she didn't know if making the first move would provoke him to think she was only after the one thing. So, she lay on either side, touching him only by accident when she rolled over. It would have meant the world to her if he would have grabbed her hand, or spooned her.

Instead, when his weight shifted, she felt nothing but the straightness of his back. She looked briefly over her shoulder, but could only see the back of his head.

At Amy's sigh, Sheldon opened his eyes. While fixing the blanket, he asked, "Are you comfortable?"

"Not really."

"What can I do to help?"

The pause was brief. "You can tell me what you want," she said.

Sheldon considered. "I want French toast for breakfast tomorrow." He looked at the back of her head. "What do you want?"

Amy rolled her eyes, but only said, "French toast sounds good."

He smiled in appreciation, even though she couldn't see it. "Great. Goodnight!"

"Goodnight," Amy said, after only a brief hesitation. 


	12. Chapter 12

Raj walked into the church carrying five plastic trays of food.

"There he is!" someone yelled, and all eyes were suddenly on him. Raj stopped, staring back, feeling the hairs on the back of his neck stand straight. Two firemen were walking toward him.

"Were you the renter of 3D?"

"Yeah, what's the problem?"

"First responders found a melted vacuume cleaner in your unit," the firefighter notified him.

"Son," the other one said, "Did you start the fire?"

"Accidentally," Raj said, after briefly considering Howard's impending fatherhood. "But I also helped evacuate the building," he offered, when the two firefighters exchanged a glance.

"I lost my cat because of you," said an angry woman.

"Sorry, sorry. I'll buy you a new one, okay?"

"You can't replace Mitzy; she was an old favorite."

"Why didn't you grab her?"

"I was kind of running for my life!" she slammed back.

"You think you're grieving? I lost my homework. Now I have to that test again." A haughty teenager was speaking.

"Who cares about your stupid test?"

"Who cares about your stupid cat?"

The two females began arguing, and in the midst of chaos, Raj slipped outside unnoticed and soon returned with five more plastic trays. He set them beside the others, and decided he had to step in to stop the yelling. "I'm really sorry," he said loudly. "To all of you. Tell me what I can do."

"Buy us all a damn house, that's what you can do!"

The yelling continued, until a new voice from behind Raj cut into the chaos. "Hey!" she barked, and all eyes turned to Mrs. Cooper. "I know you're all goin' through a lot, but yellin' at each other in the Lord's house is still unacceptable."

"I don't come here to pray," said Mitzy's owner.

"Well, ya should."

"That's funny," Mitzy's owner muttered, "I thought we all had some lousy free will."

"You do now; but you'll pay for it later."

Raj quickly put himself between her and the angered crowd. "Uh, say, it occurs to me your son lives in this city, too," he said, steering her toward the door.

"Is Missy still there?"

"Yes, for awhile longer."

"Wonderful." Mrs. Cooper walked toward her car, and Raj escorted her. "It'll be nice to see both'a my babies at the same time again."

"Yeah, it's been nice for all of us, too. She's a good distraction from the bigger baby."

Mrs. Cooper chuckled. "He is kind of..."

"Whiny? Petulant? Infuriating?"

"I was going to say high-strung."

"Sure, that describes it," Raj said, and thought quietly to himself that Sheldon had probably gotten it from her. But he quietly, amicably opened her car door. "It's dark; try to follow me," he advised.

"Sweetie," she lay a hand on his, "Are you okay?"

"No," he broke down, "How could I be okay? I lost everything."

She stroked his hair. "Okay. I'm going to go ahead to Shelly's house," she held out some money, "Why don't you go to the bakery on me?"

Raj looked up at her through his tears. "I appreciate the offer, Mrs. Cooper, but I'm a man. I'm not crying because I'm having a period."

"Okay. Okay."

"Besides, I don't need the extra calories. I'm meeting Emily tomorrow and they'll just go straight to my hips."

Mrs. Cooper smiled crookedly. "Is she even going to be seeing your hips?"

"I don't know. I'm still torn between her and Claire."

"Well, you might want to make a decision before Valentine's Day, sweetie; or else they might both dump you."

The urgency of the situation leaked into his voice, "How can I choose between them if I love them both?"

Mrs. Cooper shrugged. "Well, if you do love them both, how dare you keep hurting 'em on purpose?"

Raj squeezed his eyes shut. "Okay. Okay, you're right."

"You know what'cha gotta do?"

"Yeah," he muttered unenthusiastically.

She patted his shoulder.


	13. Chapter 13

Raj's cell phone rang during the drive to Los Robles, and upon answering he pushed the speaker phone button. "Hello?"

"Raj?" Emily's voice came over.

"Emily, hi. What are-"

"I just saw your apartment on the news. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I guess. Just rattled," though he hoped his voice was steady.

"I bet! Poor thing. Are you still up for meeting me?"

"Yeah, you bet."

"Cool." She paused. "I'm glad you're okay."

"Thanks," he said, embarrassed he was blushing and glad she couldn't see it. "Me, too."

She laughed softly. "Goodnight, Raj."

"Goodnight." He pushed the button to end the call. No sooner had he let go of the button that the phone rang again, and he gave it a suspicious glance before answering yet again. "Uh, hello?"

"Raj! It's Claire. I just heard about your building; you're not hurt, are you?"

"Uh, no, I'm fine." He turned on his signal light and changed lanes.

"Good."

"Listen, Claire? There's something really important I need to tell you."

"Sure, go ahead."

He hesitated.

"Raj?"

"Yes, uh, I'm...I'd like to...I'm actually seeing another woman. I have been, for...a year now; and I'm really sorry, but I want to propose to her."

The line was disconnected, and moving slowly, Raj hung up.

"Okay," he told himself. "You did it. Good. I am now dating one woman. The right woman."

Then he pulled a face, shaking his head. "I must be the dumbest man alive..."

-0-0-0-0-

Leonard was at his computer when there was a knock at the front door. He got up to answer. "Oh, Mrs. Cooper," he said happily. "Good to see you again."

"Good to see you too, dear. Mind if I make a coffee?"

"It's already made."

"Wonderful..." She breezed into the apartment, closely followed by Raj.

"Are you spending the night?" Leonard asked, looking her bags over.

"No, no, I couldn't impose. I got a hotel room."

"Okay..." He looked inquisitively at her.

She smiled. "I just heard about a string'a car robberies, is all; I didn't wanna lose my hotel fee."

"And a hotel is safer?" Raj asked.

"Maybe. Anyway, I always feel so uncomfortable, when your or Shelly wait on me like I can't fend for myself; but at a hotel it's like a little vacation." She stopped halfway to the couch and looked around. "So, where're my lil' birdies at?"

"Actually, Sheldon's spending the night at Amy's," Raj informed her, and her brows went up.

"But Missy should be back from bowling with the girls soon," Leonard chipped in.

Mrs. Cooper sank down into Leonard's recliner, and the guys sat on the couch. Nobody spoke; the only sound was whenever Mrs. Cooper sipped her coffee.

Finally Leonard couldn't take the silence anymore. "Uh, so, uh...Sheldon really enjoyed seeing his grandmother again; do you know if she's planning to come back someday?"

"She mentioned this Christmas," Mrs. Cooper answered. " 'Course, she also said she was lookin' forward to dressing up as a pumpkin and goin' trick-or-treatin' that night."

Another awkward silence, which Raj finally broke. "Uh, I better get back to Amy's place."

"You and Sheldon are both spendin' the night there?" Mrs. Cooper asked.

"She invited me because I'm homeless. She invited him because...she's nuts." He opened the door. " 'Bye, guys."

"See ya, Raj," Leonard said absentmindedly.

The door closed with a soft thump.

-0-0-0-0-

Author's Note: Not exactly entertaining, but I myself am wondering where to go with this. But, because it has 21 reviews (thank you very much), I will not give up! 


	14. Chapter 14

It was the sunny morning of the following day, and all the friends had gathered for a picnic at the park. Each couple sat close to one another, excluding Sheldon and Amy, who sat across from each other. He was abnormally quiet and they would hardly look at each other. Though he had slept at her place, though they were both willing to work on their relationship, things were still a bit awkward. Not in an angry way, but in a tender situation way.

Cinnamon was on her leash, which was tied to a sign post just out of reach of the picnic blanket, in a patch of shade.

"It's a nice day," Leonard stated into the peaceful silence.

"It is," Penny answered, "I'm glad my fiance isn't tucked indoors playing video games."

"That'll come later, at eight o'clock on the nose," Sheldon informed her, before falling back into his pit of silence.

" 'Scuse me," Howard muttered, as he got up and walked away.

"So, Raj, Amy, how's roommate-hood?" Bernadette asked.

Raj was the first to respond. "It's alright. But I think I should look for my own place soon, I don't want to impose."

"Yeah," Leonard answered, "The last thing you want to do is wind up like that Alan Harper character."

"He won't," Emily replied.

"Still, I think it's smart to take the extra precaution," Amy said, "The brain might be one of the most essential organs, but it's fickle."

"Well, my heart isn't," Raj answered. "At least, not yet."

Bernadette looked up and her gaze found a lone figure. There was something about him...Something familiar. She couldn't place it, and her eyes followed him as he walked slowly through the park, checking his watch.

"Do you have any specific house types in mind?" Penny was asking.

"Well, uh, it's gotta be dog-friendly," Raj stated. "And...aside from that, no. Not really. I checked Craigslist, and I was going to check the newspaper, too, but Cinnamon had...used them." He looked up at Amy. "Sorry, by the way."

"At least put the next newspaper in the kitchen," Amy answered grouchily. "I'm trying to save money, not blow every cent I have on a Rug Doctor."

"How expensive are they?" Raj asked.

"And how cheap are you?" Penny chimed in.

"I'm not cheap," Amy protested, "I'm saving up for a vacation. A pricy vacation," she informed Penny.

"Oh, where to?" Bernadette chirped.

Amy shrugged, smiling. "I keep thinking Europe, or Paris. I'd love to see the Eiffel tower."

Penny looked up and saw Bernadette burning intently just past Penny's ear, looking scared. Penny twisted her head but saw nothing unusual.

Meanwhile, in the only restroom on the lot, Howard sat on a bench in a closed cubicle, rubbing at his eyes before digging out his phone and dialing his half-brother's phone number. Putting the phone to his ear he waited for Josh to pick up.

"Hello?" His voice came on.

"Josh, hi. It's Howard." He paused, though Josh was quiet. "I've...changed my mind. I want to see Dad," he said.

"Oh. I wish you'd called sooner, he already left for the airport."

"Where's he going?"

"He moved to Florida."

"Oh..." Howard couldn't help feeling both relieved and disappointed.

"I can give you his number, though."

"Yeah, yes. Please." Howard listened carefully and recited the number back, just to be sure. Then, muttering the number to himself, he punched it into his list of contacts. Leaning forward he stared at the phone as the restroom door opened and closed, and a pair of feet could be heard walking with long, confident steps across the floor. A cubicle door closed, jarring Howard from his thoughts.

Realizing he was closer to forty than thirty, and that he should probably speak to his father before the chance was gone forever, he sighed, shook his head and pressed Call.

And, from the other stall, a song, a familiar song, suddenly blared.

Howard knew that song. It had, in his childhood, been his father's favorite one.

"Hello?"

The voice that came on the other end of the line perfectly matched the one that came from the stall next to him. Howard couldn't find his voice.

"Hello?" The voice came again.

Still, Howard couldn't speak.

"Huh." A discontent mutter came from the other stall, from which then came a soft beep. The dial tone buzzed in Howard's ear and, moving slowly, Howard lowered his phone.

-0-0-0-0-

Author's Note: Sorry for the delay. I often know where I'm going; and not how to get there. But, it shall continue... 


	15. Chapter 15

What was he doing here?

Probably wanted to stretch his legs and take in some scenery before the trip to Florida.

Why here?

Why today?

What should he do?

Howard slumped against the wall of the cubicle as he pocketed his phone. Making his decision, he stood and pushed open the door, walking to the sink and turning on the taps. He washed his hands, purposefully taking his time. Finally the stall door opened and an aged version of the man Howard could see in the family photo albums came walking out with a smile on his face and a bounce in his step. Like nothing was wrong. Like nobody in his life was missing. Howard was tempted to walk out quietly and go back to his friends.

But, no.

This man had conceived, then abandoned, him. He deserved nothing if not the knowledge of how much his son loathed him.

"So," Howard said, "You and Josh have a nice visit?"

The man looked over at him. "What?"

"He tell you about his oceanography thing?" Howard continued smoothly. "It's nice, when families talk. At least, I assume it is. I wouldn't know from experience because you were a COLOSSAL DOUCHE."

The man's brow furrowed. "Howard?"

"Ohh, you remember my name. But how could that be? You don't have any photos, or birth certificates...My address, my phone number!"

The man just looked at him, shocked into silence.

"Josh didn't tell you I'd be angry, about that?" Howard continued. His voice was ice. "What DID you talk about? Did he tell you I'm married and expecting a kid, now? Did he tell you I graduated college? Did he tell you I'm an engineer with a master's degree? I guess you miss a lot when you're not around but at least you talk to your son!"

The man sighed, turning to face him. "I wasn't ready for fatherhood."

"I am," Howard bit. "I'll be the greatest damn father. I won't miss the birth of my child, I won't miss a single birthday, I'll say 'I love you', and I'll play football or braid her hair every damn day of my life, and you'll never get to know your grandkid because he or she deserves more than that."

He sighed heavily as he turned. And took three steps.

"Josh did tell me you didn't want to see me."

"Yeah, well, that hasn't changed." Howard pushed open the door without sparing him a glance.

"Then why are you here?"

Howard faced him with a scoff. "Oh, I made a choice to leave my house. You know how it works, you wrote that story."

"Josh didn't tell you I'd be here?"

"Nope."

"He said he would. The liar."

"Takes after you, huh?"

Mr. Wolowitz held up both hands. "How many times do I need to say I'm sorry?"

"How about once!"

Mr. Wolowitz's face softened. "Didn't read my letter, did you?"

Howard's voice was lethally quiet. "I burned it."

Then Howard released the heavy door, letting it swing shut in his father's face.

When Howard returned to the picnic blanket, the friends were laughing. Sheldon was, naturally, not.

"And you'd better hope Leslie doesn't babysit," Raj said. "Your nephew might end up calling you Uncle Dumbass."

"I highly doubt that," Sheldon answered calmly. "He comes from the seed of my sister. He'll have no reason to condescend to me." He thought while Penny rolled her eyes. "You have given me a remarkable idea, though," he noted, which silenced the friends. Curiously, they all looked at him.

"What?" Amy asked.

Sheldon smiled triumphantly at her. "The Babysitter Agreement!"

"Oh, God," Penny muttered, as Howard took his place beside Bernadette.

"I can't wait to get started!" Sheldon gushed. "Hurry up and eat."

"What would this list look like?" Penny asked.

"Why do you hate us?" Howard groaned.

"Sorry, sorry - "

Sheldon launched into speech. "Unlike the others, it would merely be a list of people I would recommend, and another list of people who would make injudicious choices. Number one recommendation, me, number two, Amy, and so on. Number one for ill-advised, Leslie, number two, Penny; and so on."

"Hey!" Penny exclaimed. "Why'm I on the bad list?"

"No offense, Penny, but I want this kid to have a chance in life."

Amy didn't look too pleased. "At least he didn't call you number two," she grumped.

"You're both taking this too literally. Remember, he is the future. My future. I want him to have the best." Sheldon's calm voice settled over the group, and Amy looked at him.

"You really love him, don't you?" she asked quietly, her heart pounding.

He looked at her. "Yes." He sounded surprised.

She stared into his eyes, wondering if there was a chance he would ever want a son.

It sounded like he might be open to thinking about it.

"I would like to propose a toast." Raj's voice broke the spell Sheldon's mesmerizing eyes had cast on Amy. "To Sheldon's nephew, and to a future...with him in it."

Sheldon raised his glass, a gleam in his eye, though his face was stoic. "Here, here."

-0-0-0-0-  
Author's Note: This book is now complete. I'm really sad to see this book come to such an early close. Never before have I written anything that got this much feedback. I thank each and every one of you; and I especially thank those who commented on different chapters. Your loyalty means so much! 


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